Taking control of weekend eating

Weekend eating has always been a nemesis of mine – even before I jumped on the weight loss train and shed 80 lbs. Something about getting to Friday night and rewarding myself with making it through another grueling work week by going out to dinner and eating to my heart’s content seemed, well….. nice. Fulfilling, even (in more ways than one!)

Weekend eating continued to plague me while losing weight. I would work very hard, Monday a.m. – Friday at lunch to watching what I ate, log my calories, work my butt off with exercise. Friday night out was my “treat” meal, only it never really stopped with Friday’s dinner. It often continued through Saturday and partially Sunday – even though I’d often try to reign myself back in come Sunday morning. What resulted is usually at least a pound of weight gained – true weight gain or just water retention from eating out so much – and I would have to work all over again to lose that pound plus make some headway for the week.

Not so difficult when you have a lot of weight to lose. Much more difficult towards the end when the pounds are in the single digits. I find that it takes a lot of effort to work off a pound now. Long gone are the days of losing 2+ lbs every week. These days, I am happy with a half pound loss!

But the weekend eating was still a problem. After having Kate, I still ate like I was pregnant because pretty much everyone told me that the weight would come right off, especially if I was breastfeeding. Well, I stopped breastfeeding after a few weeks and the stubborn Last 10 remained. I was in between sizes….too large for my pre-pregnancy pants, but too small to go up a size. Clothes were uncomfortable. I couldn’t bring myself to buy larger sizes. So around April, I started eating like I was dieting….except for the weekends.

I found out I’m pretty good at maintaining. Not so great at the losing anymore! What worked in the past no longer worked with this post-pregnancy, newly 30 year old body. A few weeks ago, I decided the weekend eating needed to stop. It’s been hard…but… not having to re-lose that pound (or more) gained from weekend binging has been really nice, too.

Do you have problem with weekend eating, too? This weekend will certainly be challenging. Hubby and I have a babysitter and a date night planned, and Saturday starts college football season…which means tailgating! Which means lots and lots of food! Thinking and hoping the baby distracts me this time around.

Thought for today

"Your greatest runs are rarely measured by racing success. They are moments in time when running allows you to see how wonderful your life is." - Kara Goucher

Kara Goucher is one of my favorite Olympic athletes. Not only is she a fantastic runner, but she’s also a mom. I follow her on Facebook and it’s so cool to see a professional runner balance her life with motherhood.

What seems like forever ago, I used to run for pleasure. I had moments like the one described above – where I would be overwhelmed with emotion during a particularly good run about how great my life was. I would actually get choked up while running and have to compose myself so no one would think I was a weird crying girl out on the trail. It was like a wall of emotion would hit me mid-run. It was wonderful and delightful and overwhelming.

I haven’t run for pleasure in a long time.

2012 has been marked by successes and (mostly) “failures” when it comes to running. Taking a month off of running after having a baby made it difficult to get back into it. I haven’t felt as nearly as in shape as I was while I was pregnant. Most races don’t result in a PR (except for that odd Half Marathon). Most runs, I struggle to finish. Many runs I don’t even enjoy because I am measuring myself against past (and better) performance.

Perhaps it’s time to stop measuring, and start relishing.

Just a thought for today.

Hello? Anyone there?

I realize it’s been MONTHS since I last wrote! Months! I have no excuse (well – ok, I kinda do. Having a baby takes up a lot of time!)

I suppose I should just start where I left off. Kate recovered from RSV pretty well. She was on oxygen for a week after we were discharged from the hospital, but overall, she did just fine. Things went pretty well for about two months and I was really loving being a mom. She started sleeping through the night at about 4.5 months which made things IMMENSELY easier to handle. We have really been blessed with a great sleeper. I really can’t complain in that department.

In May, on the weekend of my first Mother’s Day, Kate was up all night with a 104 fever starting on a Friday night… just totally out of the blue. We brought her in to the pediatrician on Saturday and they immediately placed her in the hospital. She was miserable… very lethargic and non-responsive (very scary!) All of the tests came back negative… after 3 days in the hospital AGAIN, they sent us home with no explanation. I got to spend my first Mother’s Day with a very sick baby…. it was awful. It took her about a week to get back to her old self, but we came through. She was so miserable that we couldn’t put her down without her starting to cry at all…she just laid on us pretty listless the entire time. Which means we didn’t get much sleep! Not something I want to relive.

That was the week of May 13th… on May 18th, I turned 30 (boo), and on May 20th, I ran 13.1 miles in the Colfax Half Marathon and had my BEST TIME EVER! I knocked off a few minutes off of my half marathon time! I really wavered on whether or not I would run, considering I hadn’t run in two weeks and hadn’t really slept in a week. But the human body is truly amazing.

Which I guess brings me to now. I am still struggling to lose the last of my baby weight. I finally added in weight lifting/strength training and the pounds have started to come off. Right now I have 6 lbs to pre-pregnancy weight. I’d like to lose about 10, but we’ll re-evaluate when I get there. I have been doing Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30 on the days I don’t run. Current weight is 142. Slowly but surely, it’s coming off.

I have another half marathon in 4 weeks but I’m not sure that I will be running it. I am having major hip flexor problems which is causing me to really cut back on my running. Add in that my husband is traveling twice over the next 4 weeks and I’ve lost my babysitter for long runs. One thing about turning 30 is that I’ve started to realize that I can’t just go and do what I did back in May. Since that half marathon, my hip has been bothering me. I really had no business running 13 miles on that little of training, and like it or not, my body doesn’t recover as fast as it did a few years ago. I’d like to focus on 5ks for the rest of the year because it’s doable in the amount of time that I have. There are at least four or five that I have in mind and it would be enough to keep me competitive with myself.

I can’t promise I’ll blog as regularly as I did before, but now that I have predictable free time in the evening (Kate goes to bed at 6:45 most nights!), and I’m really in the weight loss mindset, I’d love to get back into blogging. After all, you all are my support!

And now… time for Kate pictures. Here she is at 8 months old!

Such a stinker! Must take after her dad.

Not the way I envisioned a “break”

To say we’ve not been able to catch a break lately would be putting it mildly. I haven’t forgotten about blogging, or losing weight, or running. In fact, I’ve been doing the latter pretty well since returning to work last week. But then I got sick, and then I gave it to my baby. And right now we are holed up in the hospital while Kate is on oxygen treatments for RSV.

I just don’t see a way around it…

I’m going to have to become a morning exerciser when I go back to work next week. Le Sigh.

Do any of you work out in the morning? And I don’t mean the “morning” workout that I’ve been doing on maternity leave (roll into the gym around 10:30 a.m. after all the stay at home moms and elderly folks have finished their workouts). I mean like 6 a.m. workouts. The only appealing thing to me about this is having my workout done for the day and not having to argue with myself over whether or not I’m too tired or too burned out or too whatever excuse I tend to come up with at the end of the day to avoid working out. At my old job, I could run on the trail during lunch time and it was always nice to go home and not have to think about going to the gym.

It makes sense. I have free use of the gym facilities on base ( It’s free! Why don’t I use it?! I think it’s because I’m afraid I’ll look awful compared to military folks who are obviously in way better shape than me. Also, my boss works out there and I feel like it would be weird for some reason.) I need to get over that, and soon. If I want to maximize time spent with my hubby and baby when I get home from work, then morning workouts it shall be.

Yuck. I am so not a morning person. But if I have to get up early anyway, I guess I should go ahead and do it. If I’ve planned everything right, it should only push back my start work time by 45 minutes. Then I will work through lunches and be able to still leave by 3:15 most days.

If you are a morning exerciser, what gets you out of bed and into your workout clothes? I’m hoping that by not making myself get up any earlier than I have to and instead pushing back my start work time by 45 minutes will keep me from hitting the snooze button.

I do still exist (sort of)

The past two weeks have really thrown a monkey wrench into my running/weight loss plan. I wish I could blame it on external forces (some of which I can, I suppose) but some of the blame also definitely lies with me.

Let’s back up a bit.

Two weeks ago – the weekend of the Super Bowl – I woke up late Friday night with horrible stomach cramps. What ensued was 24 hours of horrible, awful, wouldn’t-wish-that-on-anybody puking. And when there was nothing left to throw up, it wouldn’t stop! My best guess is some sort of food poisoning, but it left me completely drained and I needed several days to even feel halfway normal. Picture me attempting to feed my baby by laying on the ground, her in her swing, and me holding a bottle in her mouth. I didn’t even have the energy to stand up. By the time I started to feel back to normal, the weekend had rolled around…and my husband got a stomach bug! Not the same as me, but it definitely kept him out of commission for a day or two so I was on parent duty 24/7.  And THEN….Baby Marathoner got a cold. And that is the worst one of all – not necessarily because she is cranky and miserable (she’s actually quite a good trooper), but because her sleep has been AWFUL. She can go down easily, but can’t stay asleep for too long and once she gets up to eat in the night…forget about going back to sleep. Last week was so exhausting. I never want to repeat it (though I know I will at some point). I tried running last Monday, and could only make it about 2.25 miles before feeling the exhaustion. Between working and it being a busy week anyway, exercise just wasn’t happening. Hopefully we’re turning the corner now…she’s slept well the past two nights and the congestion seems to be lessening. Ugh. You know it’s bad when you think back to something you did last week and it feels like ages and ages ago.

But that’s why I made a 16-week half marathon plan in the first place. I knew I would have weeks where I would need the extra time/rest. So here’s to a brand new week…

… and here’s my little runner at 2 months old. Time flies.

Laying out a plan

It’s no secret that my Type A personality loves to plan. I’m pretty sure when Microsoft developed Excel, they had someone like me in mind (omg – love templates!)

I talked with my soon to be personal trainer last week and she suggested I train 3x a week – once with her one-on-one, once with the treadmill class, and once with another class she teaches (athletic conditioning or boot camp). Normally, I would be all over this. But time with my family is limited, even if I am just working part time for the next 5 weeks. On top of working part time, I decided to go into the office twice a week because I can get more accomplished. As evident on Tuesday, from the minute I hit the door to the minute I get back in my car, I’m working like crazy. So now, Tuesdays and Thursdays are spent on site. This is actually kind of a relief, because undivided attention at home is hard, and I can get in most of my required minimum hours on Tuesdays/Thursdays. Anything else is just bonus hours at that point. Takes the pressure off of meeting the minimum at home.

Anyway, I digress. Like I was saying – I LOVE to plan and I LOVE schedules. I registered for the Colfax Half Marathon a few weeks ago and at 16 weeks out, now seemed like the optimal time to start training. So I kept sitting down all last week to try and write out a training schedule, but I kept getting distracted (or letting myself be distracted…. curse you, Pinterest!) The reality is, dividing my time up between work, husband, baby, and ME takes a lot of effort. I feel guilty if I take any time for myself, even though I know it’s good for me (happy me makes better wife/mom!) Throw in a crazy work schedule and time seems very, very scarce.

With that in mind, I think I’ve finally come up with a solution – at least for the short term until I return to work full time. I am home Monday/Wednesday/Friday mornings, so why not take advantage of it? The gist of the schedule is like this:

Sunday: Long Run

Monday a.m.: Personal training OR tempo run

Tuesday: Off

Wednesday: Treadmill class (p.m.) OR tempo run (a.m.)

Thursday: Off

Friday a.m.: Personal training OR Interval training

Saturday: Off

Since the kiddo is old enough to go to Child Watch at the gym, she’ll get to hang out with the other babies while I work out. Seems like it’s doable (so far…)

Back in action

Chillaxin’ after a milk coma…

How is that six weeks can seem like forever and at the same time, pass in the blink of an eye? It seems like just yesterday I was dreading being “stuck” in the house for six weeks before I returned to work part time. Um, yeah, nobody forewarned me about how babies – even easy ones – are a LOT of work! And that while the nights seem long, the weeks go by plenty fast…

So I returned to work part time on Monday. It was difficult on Monday because I didn’t go into the office on Tuesday. Contrary to popular belief, it was actually quite easy for me to leave Katie on Tuesday because it’s only part time work! Wouldn’t the ideal situation be to work part time and still get paid for a full time salary? Wishful thinking….

Anyway, being back in the office was wonderful, as was seeing a lot of my friends and coworkers. I actually got a lot accomplished all the while feeling very overwhelmed because more and more work keeps getting piled onto my plate. While on the one hand, that’s great because it means I’m needed. On the other hand, I’m trying to squeeze in 40+ hours of work into 25 hours a week. Stressful! But when it all boils down, I’m happy to semi-return to something familiar, settle ourselves into a routine, and be fulfilled all at the same time.

Today also marked 6 weeks postpartum and I was officially cleared by my doctor to resume all normal activities. Which means it’s time to start personal training with Shannon. Yeah! Later this week, I’ll detail my plan of action for the next six weeks. I’d love to be at or very near my pre-pregnancy weight by the time I return to work full time in 6 weeks. I really don’t want to buy bigger clothes (groan….)

Catching a moment

I just read a great blog post about things you swore you would never do before you became a mom. I always knew at some point I would eat a lot of my “never would I ever” words (after all, we are all the “perfect parent” before we actually have kids, right?)  When I was pregnant, I used to get up at 5:15 every morning for work.  Especially near the end of my pregnancy, I used to long for maternity leave to start because it would seem like a vacation compared to working 40 hours a week and commuting to and from work and never sleeping due to pregnancy aches and discomforts. After all, how much time could it take to care for a baby? Don’t they sleep most of the time anyway?

Yep, definitely eating my words. It’s really exhausting. We just started going longer stretches at night, which has been a godsend. It’s like babies know that just when you can’t really take the exhaustion anymore, they decide to sleep longer. I’m pretty sure Kate has the upper hand in this relationship.

In other news, I’ve been back to running quite regularly this week. On Sunday, I picked up my annual new pair of running shoes:

Unlike previous years, I actually had a choice in color this time around: teal or pink. Naturally, I went with pink. Gotta live a little.

My second week back to running class proved successful. I ran 5 miles total, doing sprints uphill and then sprint intervals toward the end. It’s still difficult (which it should be!) but I can already tell it’s benefitting me cardio-wise. My “long runs" are getting longer (2.5 miles on Monday) and I should have no problem racing when it comes to my first 5k in March. And in even more exciting news, next week is my 6 week postpartum appointment where I will hopefully be given the all clear and I can start personal training for six weeks. It would be great to be back at my pre-pregnancy weight by the time I return to work. Speaking of which, I dropped 1.5 lbs this week so at least the scale is starting to move in the right direction!

All that said, just as things start to settle down, I start back to work next week. I’m so grateful that I’m starting back part time. Some days, the lack of sleep really catches up and I don’t have much patience. I’m not sure I would be able to function fully like this, and I want to do well at my job. Additionally, the husband accepted a new position at another company and I know those first few weeks of a new job are hell with longer hours and stressful to boot with a huge learning curve (pretty sure I remember coming home in tears the first week of my new job because it seemed so overwhelming. Now I LOVE my job and can’t imagine not doing it!) So part time really is going to be a huge blessing for us as we make another transition in the next few weeks…

A triumphant return (and my babe is 4 weeks already!)

On Wednesday, I returned to that oh-so-fun treadmill boot camp at the gym. I was so excited and slightly nervous to go back. I really feel like I’ve been pushed back quite a bit in the 6 weeks I took off from running so I wasn’t sure how I would do. I ended up doing not too shabby – logged 4.35 miles in 52 minutes, which included 10 speed intervals and a REALLY difficult hill workout. Whew! But it felt so great to get back and have I mentioned it’s really nice to be able to push myself for the first time in 10 months? I’ll be back every week for sure… I love this class and it’s going to get me back into running shape quickly. The woman that teaches the class is also going to be my personal trainer once I get the OK at my 6 week follow up appointment.

Exercise has been great this week. I went for a 2 mile walk on Monday, ran 1 mile/walked 1 mile on Tuesday, and then running on Wednesday. Today I might do a workout video to give my body a break from running (feeling a little sore in the nether regions after class last night). Unfortunately my eating has not been great, so I haven’t lost any weight so far. But I haven’t gained any, either, so I guess that’s a plus. Fortunately all of the holiday goodies are out of the house now and I’m finally feeling a little more in control of my eating.

Yesterday, Kate turned 4 weeks old. Where has the past month gone? In some ways, it feels so much longer than 4 weeks… in other ways, not so much. She is going 4 hour stretches at night now and so the sleeping really isn’t too bad. We put her to bed between 9 and 10 p.m., and she is usually up between midnight/1 a.m. and 4-5 a.m., then back down until 7 or 8 a.m.  She has good days and bad days with fussiness (which gas seems to be the biggest culprit for that, or being overly tired and over stimulated from people holding her), but most days, she’s pretty laid back still and just kind of goes with the flow. She’s grown a LOT! We’re not quite sure how much she has gained – her 1 month appointment is next week – but she has grown almost 2 inches and her head has expanded 1.5 inches! She’s definitely putting on weight… I’m guessing she’ll be close to 7 lbs now by her next appointment!

Looking ahead

I was able to get to the gym on Saturday morning and ran for 1.5 miles and walked for 3/4 of a mile. I felt great until the last quarter mile in which my abs decided to rebel. Even though I did Pilates for a good while during my pregnancy, I still feel as though my abdominals have taken a hit and I lost quite a bit of core strength. Or I’m still adjusting to breathing heavily again, one of the two. Either way, an ab workout probably wouldn’t hurt to have during this time.

I turn 30 in May of this year. Last year, right after I discovered I was pregnant one month before my 29th birthday, I vowed to go to Las Vegas for my 30th. The plan was to leave the kiddo with grandma and grandpa, jet off to Vegas with my hubby and some friends, and spend a whirlwind weekend having a blast and living it up to celebrate the start of a brand new decade and farewell to my 20s (which were legendary, if I do say so myself).

It sounds magical, doesn’t it?

I still would love to do something like that, but I love vacationing in the first place and so, turning 30 or not, or baby or no baby, I would always jump at a weekend getaway.

I reflected on this plan while running. It would certainly be doable and I’m sure the grandparents would jump at the chance to babysit, but I also remembered this other thing I wanted to do that weekend, which is the Colfax Half Marathon. It was my first half marathon so it always kind of has that nostalgic place in my heart, and I didn’t run any half marathons last year due to pregnancy.

My run on Saturday was the first time I felt anything like my old running self – enjoying the moment, loving the movement, feeling challenged, motivated and inspired. I miss that more than I realized. When you become a mom for the first time, you’re thrown into a brand new identity that is filled with uncertainty, anxiety, lack of confidence in yourself. After all, you’ve never done this before. It’s a brand new thing, and it’s quite scary, even if you have the greatest support system in the world. You’re totally responsible for this little tiny baby who is completely dependent on you and THAT IS A BIG DEAL, people. At the same time, you are left wondering where your old life went, especially the freedom and independence and spontaneity that you once had. In this brand new identity, you are quite uncertain of yourself and if you’ll ever feel comfortable in this brand new skin, or if you’ll ever feel like yourself at all.

You do, of course… eventually. But as I have mentioned plenty of times before, running was and is a part of my identity, even this brand new one.  And I remembered that on Saturday.. and it felt amazing. With that in mind, it’s pretty obvious to me that Vegas is out, and a weekend in Denver with my closest friends and family, culminating with running the half marathon on Sunday, is definitely the way I want to spend my 30th birthday. I really cannot wait to cross the finish line and see my husband and daughter cheering me on.

And have I mentioned how excited I am to run with my daughter some day? She’s got super long legs already. She’ll probably outrun her mom.

Back to basics

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to lose weight. I maintained my goal weight for a year before becoming pregnant, and then spent 9 months (moderately… ok, not always moderately) eating for two. I never tracked my calories while pregnant; instead I just tried to eat the best I could. In reality, my diet could have been a lot better, but I’m guessing a big reason why I only gained 25 lbs in spite of my less than desirable eating habits is because 1) babies end up requiring 300 extra calories a day from you and 2) I exercised a lot. So on days that I ran, I could easily have “burned” upwards of 500-600 calories and that’s quite a bit!

But I’m no longer pregnant, and in spite of our best efforts, sadly no longer breastfeeding, and so here I sit with total control of my body for the first time in 10 months. Oh, guess what I discovered? You can’t eat like you did when you were pregnant and still expect to lose weight or even maintain. If you eat 5 or 6 extra large peanut butter truffles leftover from the holidays, you’ll quickly pack on the pounds. Mind blowing stuff here, folks.

So it’s back to basics. Counting calories. Trying to exercise as much as I can without going overboard. (By the way Karen, I also made the mistake of taking a peek at the nether regions and I agree with you… it ain’t pretty!) Thus begins my weight loss efforts. I figured I would have to lose some weight after pregnancy and I’m glad it’s only about 10 pounds. But it’s difficult to get back into diet mode and even more difficult when you’re juggling a newborn, trying to squeeze in working from home a few hours a week, and remembering to at least get dressed for the day and look like a normal human being. It’s hit or miss on how tired I feel every day. Right now Katie is sleeping in 3 hour stretches at night, but as of yesterday, I lost my 6:30 a.m. feeding and diaper changing partner to going back to his job (someone’s got to bring home the bacon around here!), so it’s all on me from here on out until I return to the office. I didn’t realize how much that extra 1.5 hours of sleep I was getting every morning helped.

The good news is, we’re functioning. And Baby Daddy lends a huge helping hand when he gets home from work in the afternoon so I was able to re-acquaint myself with our treadmill yesterday. I ran for 1 mile and walked for 1 mile. My lungs still burn, but not as nearly as bad as they did last week. I hope to get in an exercise video today, and tomorrow it’s supposed to be in the upper 60s so we will probably take the kiddo out in her stroller for some fresh air and a jaunt around the neighborhood.

So I’ll find my way back for sure… it’s just a little different this time around because free time is kind of a luxury these days.

Why yes, I do still exist

Happy New Year! It’s crazy to think that just over a year ago, I was making resolutions for 2011, and here we are already, two days into 2012. It also blows my mind that Katie nearly 3 weeks old already. It seems like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital and I was dreading the thought of being stuck in the house for six weeks before returning to work part time for a few weeks and then transitioning to full time. Now I’m sad about the thought of only being home with her for another 3 weeks before going back!

She has grown a TON in the past 3 weeks. We measured her the other day – she has grown over an inch and we’re sure is close (if not at or over) 6 lbs by now. I remarked earlier that she looks like a normal newborn now, but let me tell ya, I am really glad I birthed a 5 pounder. My lady parts are still a little sore! More power to any woman who births a bigger baby. Ouch. Moving on….

Last Monday at 12 days post partum, I trekked back to the gym – partially to get out of the house and partially because I wanted to get moving. I was cleared to start walking at 10 days postpartum, so being the person who normally ignores advice that I am, I tried running a little bit on the treadmill. I haven’t run since 35 weeks, so it’d been six weeks at that point. My lungs hurt –a LOT. I had a second degree tear with delivery, so I have stitches that are slowly dissolving, and they itch like crazy while running. I stopped after .75 miles and just walked the rest of the time. I’m really ready to have my body back to normal. But I know that in this case, it’s better not to push it. I don’t want to be set back any further than I am, so I have been trying to get out for a walk every other day. Next Wednesday at 4 weeks pp, I may go to the treadmill boot camp class and walk instead of run, but we’ll see.

Life will start to fall into some sort of routine starting tomorrow. My parents have been visiting since last week, and we’ve had family filtering in and out of our home since Christmas. Everyone returns home tomorrow and my husband returns to work (boo, not looking forward to that! I love having him around!) so Kate and I will be on our own. Right now, she is up about twice a night to eat so it really hasn’t been too difficult. There have been some days where it’s overwhelming just to have to take care of something (what seems like) 24 hours a day, but once the postpartum hormones calmed down, things have been better. I crave routine and so does my kid apparently, so we’re two peas in a pod when it comes to that respect. And my husband is super helpful and has been so supportive of every little thing that it has made life probably as easy as it could be. But still, having a baby is a life changing thing. I can’t help but wistfully think of what I would have been doing over the past 3 weeks if I didn’t have a newborn. Would I have gone on several runs? Would Mr. Marathoner and I have taken a road trip somewhere, spent money carelessly, stayed up until all hours of the night? Maybe. But our new normal is a good trade off. We spend a lot of time just talking with each other. We rediscovered some board games from our childhood. We take delight in our mini excursions to get out of the house. For better, our lives have changed permanently and it’s a huge adjustment – after all, we had 8 years where it was just the two of us.

But even though the nights are long, the weeks seem to be flying by and she will be in a different stage of life and so will we. For now, I am content to be settling into a routine which hopefully includes working out more than I have been. I’m about 10 lbs above my “happy weight”, (I gained about 25 total with pregnancy), and I’m eager to get back into some clothes that I haven’t seen for about 7 months. I hope to start personal training after I get the go-ahead from my doctor in a few weeks… and my first goal is to be back into 5k shape come mid-March and the St. Patrick’s Day 5k!

What are your goals for the new year? Are resolutions just made to be broken, or do you take them seriously and try to hardest to achieve them?

Quick update – Katie is here!

Just wanted to write a short post to announce that Katie Grace arrived after an extremely quick labor and delivery on December 14th!  She was 5 lbs, 4 oz at birth and 18 inches long, born at 2:18 p.m. And totally cute. I love her!

We checked in for the induction at 8 a.m., and by 8:45, started the pitocin. My contractions were irregular but manageable for about two hours. I was still 5 cm dilated. Sometime around 10:30, I had a sharp stabbing pain that radiated from my front to back on my left side. I’m still not sure quite what it was – thinking maybe the baby was laying on a nerve or something, but it was PAINFUL. We started discussing the epidural and by 11ish or so, the nice epidural man came in and I got the good stuff. It was awesome. Of all the things I’ve heard that can go wrong with an epidural, mine was pretty good. I could still move my legs, although they were numb. I could still feel the pressure of the contractions although they weren’t painful at all.

Around 1 p.m., my doctor came in and broke my water. I was still between 5-6 cm dilated so no progress on that front. We joked that I would be having the baby within the hour although I’m not sure anyone believed it. My doctor and nurse both told me that if I started to feel pressure, to tell them. Well, right away things felt really different…. definite pressure! I debated whether or not to call the nurse, but she came back after about 15 minutes anyway and said “something’s going on, isn’t it?” Yep. Time to push. In 15 minutes, I’d dilated to a 10 and it was baby time.

I practice pushed for a bit and really pushed for about half an hour. By 2:18, she arrived! She is healthy and beautiful and sleeps like a champ (so far – she’s only 5 days old, I suppose!)

Top 10 List

I posed an interesting question for moms on Facebook: If you knew you only had a few days left sans baby, what would you spend your time doing? The responses were interesting – some were expected, some were funny. Mostly everyone said sleep, a few suggested making freezer meals (done and done!). I appreciated the advice to spend time with my husband… he’s certainly my favorite person in the world and any uninterrupted time I can get with him right now is not to be taken for granted. I’m not sure how often we’ll be able to go out on dates once the baby is here, but I do so love the “our” time we get together. It’s important in a marriage, I believe. And about to become very important, I suspect!

But the responses got me thinking. I am a firm believer that with gain comes loss, and seeing everyone’s responses made me a little sad – there’s so much that will be lost with such a substantial gain as having a baby! So my mind keeps turning the things that I’ll be gaining instead, and in particular, things I’m really looking forward to by not being pregnant anymore.

Don’t get me wrong: pregnancy hasn’t been horrible. Sure, I am not a fan of packing on the pounds, or all the typical symptoms that come with pregnancy, but a part of me knows that I’m pretty lucky. I’ve felt pretty great this whole pregnancy, even with the 24/7 first trimester sickness. I’ve been able to exercise and push myself quite a bit – including a 10k PR!

But let’s be honest. As blissful as one can be during pregnancy (and I’m certainly not the blissful type. Pregnancy’s been a 9-month long means to an end for me), things keep popping into my head that I’m really looking forward to once this chapter ends and the next begins.

1. Sleeping on my stomach. I went for a prenatal massage on Friday, and experienced my first prenatal massage table where there’s a hole in the table cut out for the belly and boobs. For the first time in perhaps 4 or 5 months, I was able to lay on my stomach and nearly fell asleep during the massage. It was HEAVEN! I wish they made prenatal mattresses! I’m a stomach sleeper, so giving it up has been difficult. My hips hurt from having to sleep on my side all the time. All I want to do is stretch out on my stomach with a big fluffy pillow and drift off.

2. Alcohol. Need I say more? There’s a build-your-own Bloody Mary buffet at a local brewery here that has my name all over it.

3. Pre-pregnancy pants. Most of my pants and skirts have moved over to the other side of the closet. We’re going to be reunited very shortly, I believe. It sucks to lose weight and have a wardrobe you spent money and time building, only to have to put it away for several months. I was lucky enough to wear a lot of my pants until about 4-5 months pregnant. But I yearn for the day where I can wear pants again that have real zippers and buttons.

4. Pushing myself during a run, and keeping up with the girls in treadmill boot camp.

5. Bending in half, tying my shoes without effort, and getting out of bed like a normal person instead of rolling myself off the mattress. All things that never occurred to me that would happen. It’s hard to bend over and pick something up when there’s a baby in your belly!

6. Indigestion and constipation – be gone! Years ago, I had my gallbladder removed and should have bought stock in Prilosec. When I was obese, I had to use it every other day because my indigestion was so terrible. When I lost weight, however, I was down to taking one about every 1.5-2 weeks. Tums actually worked for once since the surgery. And then came pregnancy. With a baby and a uterus pushing up on my stomach, I have indigestion all the time. Prilosec lasts about 2 days, and I am so sick of Tums that the only ones that don’t make me gag are the peppermint flavored ones. Oh, I can’t wait to stop dropping a ton of money on antacids!

7. Speaking of gagging… not being randomly sick after meals. Once the 24/7 nausea ended about week 10, I would (and still do) get randomly sick after meals. Some things seem to always make me sick (seafood), other things will be fine one day, but make me barf the next. During the second trimester, I could see that it was definitely tied to a surge in hormones, but in the past few weeks, it seems to be just totally sporadic. I had a $50 steak on my wedding anniversary. I ended up flushing it down the toilet. Ugh.

8. Middle school acne. I’m really praying that my skin goes back to normal after pregnancy, though I’m aware it may not. But I have high hopes. I’ve always had decent skin, but since being pregnant, my face won’t stop breaking out – badly. I don’t think I had zits this bad when I was a teenager! It seems as though my normally dry skin is now oily, and my once resilient skin has to be washed every single night. Dear God, PLEASE let this go away!!

9. Smaller boobs. Most women love pregnancy boobs. Mine were fine the way they were pre-pregnancy, and now they are the size they were when I was at my highest weight. I realize that since I’ll be attempting breastfeeding, that they’ll stay the same size for a while until I stop. But knowing that eventually they (should) shrink back to a smaller size and fit in my bras again gives me something to look forward to.

10. Having control over my body. I never realized how much I would sacrifice when it came to my own body. I’m so used to just doing whatever I want in terms of pushing myself with exercise, or choosing what to eat or drink, etc. When I became pregnant, I worried endlessly about what I was doing. Was it ok to run? Was it ok to eat this or that? What do you mean I can’t take Excedrin for a migraine, or Ativan to fly on a plane? Everybody has a list of do’s and don’ts, and most of the time, I tried to play it safe. But I gotta tell ya – Tylenol doesn’t do jack squat for migraines, and I’m so tired of wondering if it’s ok to eat this or that. I can’t wait to get out there for a sweaty run and really, really push myself without worrying for once!

Special dates and other thoughts

Exactly 5 years ago as I write this, I was saying “I do” to my new husband. I had no clue what the next five years would bring. I also had no clue if I’d ever go from looking like this:

(Around 195 lbs and sadly not the highest I would reach)

To this:

(Looking at that photo makes me anxious to get back into my pre-pregnancy jeans! Man, I love those jeans!)

We’ve had a great 5 years so far, and I hope that the best is yet to come. It’s funny, when we got married, of course the next question everyone asks you is “so when are you going to have kids?” We eventually started telling everyone we were on a 5 year plan. And funnily enough, it turned out to be almost exactly 5 years when we would start our family. Believe me, I didn’t want to plan it that way. In fact, given that our anniversary is 12/9, and my husband’s birthday is 12/28, plus Christmas thrown in there, the last thing I wanted was a December baby. I even told my husband that I didn’t want to get pregnant right away when we started trying because that meant we’d have a December kiddo. Well, what’s that saying? When you make plans, God laughs? Yep, I’m pretty sure He got a kick out of that one. But as I’ve been reminded several times, there’s a bigger plan at stake here.

I’ve got a lot of good things to write about. At my 37 week appointment last Friday, I had gained 22 lbs with this pregnancy. 22! I’m so happy with that number, and super happy with the way things have turned out. I last ran at 35 weeks before deciding it was time to stop. I feel pretty good with that decision, although I do really miss it, but the pain isn’t worth it. At last week’s appointment, I was having contractions already and dilated to 4 cm and 80% effaced. My doctor told us that if the contractions didn’t stop, then to head to labor and delivery around 1 p.m. We did, and I had dilated another centimeter by that point. Well, long story short, the bambino decided that she didn’t want to come out (too cold on the outside or something!) and after 12 hours of contractions, promptly quit her entrance into the world. Indecisive or stubborn. Sounds like her mom. And dad.

So, we were sent home, being practically promised that we would not make it through the weekend without having our baby. The weekend came and went. We’re still waiting.

I had my 38 week appointment today and am still 5 cm dilated, but now 90% effaced and the baby’s head is at +1. My doctor won’t induce before 39 weeks (which is Monday 12/12 for me), so we talked it over and given where I work and the possibility of going into labor on base, and being locked down (it’s happened plenty of times before!), we set an eviction date for Wednesday, 12/14. It seems surreal that the end (or the beginning!) is within reach. On the one hand, I am excited, and on the other hand, a little disappointed that I will not go into labor on my own. I don’t know why this bothers me because I’m not against induction, especially since my big fear is going into labor very quickly and not making it to the hospital, AND not being able to get an epidural, so this gives me a lot of control. But there’s definitely a side of me that just wants to let nature take its course. Given that I’m 5 cm/90% already, I don’t think it’ll take much to get this baby out.

So by next Wednesday at the latest, little miss Katie will be here!

Still baking that turkey

Despite threatening to arrive on Thanksgiving, Baby Marathoner decided she wasn’t ready and promptly quit attempting to make her appearing into the world last Thursday. Which is actually OK by me… as many know, I work for the DoD and budget cuts are really bad right now. People are leaving left and right and so I’ve been tasked with picking up extra work since we’re not backfilling positions (my team of 53 has dwindled to 28 in a year’s time). Personally, I love my job and plan on sticking it out –besides, who’s going to hire a 9 month pregnant lady? – but my boss asked me to take on someone else’s job duties in addition to my own full-time job. Four weeks before I’m supposedly due and will be out of the office for six weeks. YIKES. It’s stressing me out, but I’m always happy to learn new skills. The problem is, it’s completely foreign to me so it’s like starting from scratch. I literally have no clue what this woman does for her job so we’re really starting from the bottom.

Because of Baby Marathoner’s dramatics, I had to skip the Turkey Trot 5k on Thanksgiving morning! We figured better safe to be at home and 10 minutes away from the hospital instead of a few miles away from the finish line and have something happen. Surprisingly I wasn’t too sad about missing my last race of the year, although in hindsight, I wish I had been able to race. Oh well. Now it’s just a waiting game.

I have begun thinking about post-baby training. I asked for personal training as a Christmas present from my hubby, and he obliged, so I have six weeks of personal training lined up for whenever I’m cleared to get back to working out after delivery. The nice thing is, my trainer is also a runner so she will help me focus on getting back into running shape. Honestly, not that I’ve lost that much while pregnant. These last few weeks, I’ve cut my mileage for sure, but I could most likely still go run an actual 5k right now and not have any trouble. I’d be sore as heck afterwards, but the actual running isn’t a problem. But I would really like to tone my butt, stomach, and hips, so maybe that’s what we’ll work on as well. It will also be interesting to see what she recommends regarding working out and breastfeeding. The tempting thing, of course, is to cut calories to lose any remaining baby weight, but I don’t want to cut so much that my supply dwindles. We’ll see when we get there, I suppose.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving – I attempted to eat a lot, but my tummy is still squished by a baby bottom, so I couldn’t even finish one plate. Ah, wish I had that problem when I’m not pregnant, right?!

My running shoes miss me

Just to clarify, I have (had) 11 days until I reach full term (36 weeks according to my doctor). I’ve still got 5 more weeks until my due date which is December 19th, but I only had to hold off on running until 36 weeks (next Monday) to make sure Baby Marathoner cooks a bit longer. She considered making an appearance last week after I went for a 3 mile run! But thankfully, she’s decided to hang out a bit longer and running’s off the table for another week…. gets those contractions going! Good to know that running can help move things along when she’s ready. :) I’m of the opinion that most babies come when they’re ready, so I can run all I want and if she’s ready to make her grand entrance, she’ll let us know. But in the meantime, better to play it safe than sorry until I’m full term.

But dang it, my running shoes are staring at me longingly. I miss them! They miss me! Funny how suddenly when you’re told you can’t do something, it just makes you want to do it all that much more! I’ve taken to walking and the elliptical in the meantime and it’s ok. But I miss running. I have a Turkey Trot 5k on Thanksgiving morning that I’m still planning on “wogging” as my last 5k of the season/this pregnancy. I am so, so thankful that I’ve been able to continue running, even with this short-lived hiatus. It’s been incredibly important to me to continue, and it gives me amazing faith in my body and myself. And I know my love for running will still be there after Miss Kate is here. And I can’t wait to take her to races and see her and my awesome hubby cheering me on at the finish line in her cute Running Chick outfit!

But this post is not really about cute baby outfits (but they are SO CUTE AND I WANT THEM ALL!) or about my sad, lonely running shoes collecting dust in the closet (ok, time to stop being melodramatic… it’s only a short hiatus!) This is about skipping workouts, and how easy it is to make excuses. It’s really easy to skip working out, regardless if I’m on a running break or not. It’s easy to make excuses for missing runs. I’ve got some pretty good ones, too. A few weeks ago, the air force base where I work was locked down – not atypical, I’m sure someone left a powdered donut on a counter somewhere and we had to call HAZMAT – for 45 minutes when I tried to leave. My excuse was “oh, well, now my schedule’s ALL messed up and I can’t go to the gym to run.” So I went home. I mean, really? It’s not like I was stuck at work until midnight.

Other common excuses from yours truly:

• I’m tired/I have indigestion/I’m constipated (I should know better that running usually cures the last excuse, and quite well!)
• I have to go home and make dinner (because my husband is apparently barbaric and has no clue how to fend for himself)
• I can’t keep up with everyone else in running boot camp
• I’ll run tomorrow because I’ll feel better/more energetic (that has NEVER come true)
• I can’t workout today because it’s not on my schedule (Seriously???)

Just a handful, but you get the idea. I should know by now that I always feel better after I work out – mentally, emotionally, physically. But does that stop the excuses? Usually not. I’m sure everyone can relate!

For a great post on making excuses, Carly @ Chubby Chicks Run Too invited Kara Douglass Thom and Laurie Kocanda, authors of Hot (Sweaty) Mamas: Five Secrets to Life as a Fit Mom for a guest post on distinguishing between excuses and legitimate reasons to skip workouts. I have a feeling this advice will become even more vital as I enter mommyhood here in the next few weeks and find myself wanting to skip workouts.

“Pelvic rest” update

Only advice from my doctor is to “take it easy” for the next 11 days until I’m full term. I think that means I can get lucky with the hubs, and low impact exercise until then, but maybe just not on the same day and apparently not when there’s a full moon or a snow storm moving in.  And then it is game on.  But this means I’ll be sitting out the Turkey Trot Predict 5k next Saturday (that’s ok, it’s not that great of a course anyway).

Until then, I’ll miss you, running! We’ll meet again soon enough.

Why is it that whenever someone tells me I can’t do something, I only want it that much more? :)

New respect for my body

With all the things I’ve put my body through over the past 29 years, I should have a lot of respect for it. After all, it carried around 80 extra pounds for awhile, and managed to participate in some high impact activities while that heavy – without knee problems (coincidentally, the knee problems reared their ugly heads when I was much lighter!) It’s also managed to run a half marathon on little training – not the smartest idea, but being young and dumb, it never really occurred to me that my body couldn’t handle it. At times, I’ve probably pushed myself harder while running during this pregnancy than I should have (I’m thinking of my 10k PR at 19 weeks) and my body’s just kind of been like, “well alright, do what you need to do.” Which is also probably why I naively thought I could run 13.1 miles at 30 weeks pregnant because I wasn’t that big at 19 weeks when the idea popped into my head. Feel free to laugh at that one… I know I have.

I think all stages of pregnancy tend to bring out negative stories with people. You know people who have had a hard time getting pregnant. You know people who have had a hard time staying pregnant. You know people who have horrible, terrible, miserable pregnancies and equally horrible, terrible and miserable labors and deliveries. The emergency C-sections or the unbearable pain of childbirth being too great to handle (but somehow, we always do). So it is always a surprise to me when things have gone right with my own pregnancy because of all the horror stories you hear leading up to pregnancy and childbirth. Now, I haven’t given birth to this little future runner yet, but pregnancy as a whole has pleasantly surprised me, and it’s given me a newfound respect for what women’s bodies are actually capable of. Someone told me, early on, that I would have this enormous respect for my body after giving birth, and it made me roll my eyes. First, because I never really expected pregnancy to go smoothly and secondly, women have babies every day. It’s not exactly a new feat for humanity.

The first time I was surprised at how well things were going was after our 20 week ultrasound. I wasn’t at any risk for pre-term labor, and the bambino looked perfectly healthy and was measuring right on track. I guess, because people who knew I was pregnant had started commenting on how small I was, I figured that she would measure behind or something was wrong and she wasn’t growing correctly. Nope, she is perfect as can be. My doctor even commented that I couldn’t ask for a better pregnancy. A nice compliment for sure.

The second (and subsequently, all the times since then) I was surprised was when my body started to noticeably prepare for labor. Suddenly, around 30 weeks, things were starting to get a little painful. I could run despite the IT band pain in my knee, but this lower back ache is for the birds. I’m compensating for a protruding belly by arching my back while running – despite using a maternity support belt. And what is this pelvic pressure? And this ligament pain? Excuse me, I want the second trimester back, thank you very much… it was much more comfortable than this!

Then, around 32-33 weeks, my hips started to widen (and the IT band pain went away – more proof that it’s pregnancy-related? I think so!) and my boobs started leaking. Oh, this is new. Oh, it’s my body making sure that everything’s in working order for breastfeeding? Well that’s nice to know that my milk jugs are functioning. And the Braxton-Hicks contractions were starting to make an appearance as well. It was a little scary how on target everything was going. Like, my body read all of the medical textbooks about preparing for labor scary. I was also told that as long as I could make it to 36 weeks, they didn’t care what happened in terms of labor after that.. game on!

And then came 34 weeks on the dot, and I decided that it’d be a good day to go for a run, some “nighttime entertainment” with the Mister if you know what I mean, and oh yeah, a snowstorm is moving in. Tempting fate? Apparently so. I ended up getting monitored in labor and delivery for a few hours due to contractions and vomiting. Who knew that you can do those things, just maybe not all on the same night? But still, respect for my body continues. I think at a certain point, you believe that SOMETHING will go wrong because that’s what you hear most about. A part of me has never let myself  believe that I would go into labor on my own, or early for that matter. But at 34 weeks and 1 day, I’m 1 cm dilated and 60% effaced already, much to my and my doctor’s surprise. Miss Kate is sitting pretty low with her head in the right direction. Now, does that mean anything? Maybe, maybe not. Babies are so unpredictable and tend to be on their own timeline. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, because this little kiddo needs to bake at least 1.5 more weeks.

But so far, everything’s still right on track, and my body continues to amaze me. And yeah, I totally attribute a lot of this to running. :)