The inevitable

In the past week or so, I really look like I am packing on the pounds. I was up to 139 last Wednesday, but dropped down to 137.8 by Thursday (thanks to this awesome phenomenon called not pooping for FOUR DAYS and then suddenly having the flood gates open (thank you, second trimester constipation!) Also, I ran for a few miles on Wednesday, so I’m sure that helped. Regardless, I feel chubby. And I don’t like it. I haven’t weighed myself since Thursday morning, but I am guessing that I’m in the 138-139 range. I will probably cry when I cross 140 because for crying out loud… I worked so hard to get here!

While I am sure to be reassured that this sort of thing (weight gain), you know, happens when you’re pregnant, it is still a tough pill to swallow. I make no qualms about the fact that I struggle with the scale inching upwards, despite effort of trying to eat well and exercise. I won’t say I’ve made an all-out effort, because the truth is, I really could exercise more. Eating isn’t terrible except on the weekends, because I still keep a pretty structured breakfast-lunch-dinner routine during the week. I’m trying to cut out the excess carbs that I reached for during first trimester morning sickness, and replace them with good protein (cheese, nuts, and…well, cheese, because I love it). And it works sometimes, but other times, not so much.

So, I’m trying to change my focus. I think I’m doing ok for where I am with regards to weight gain, truly, despite having not-so-rosy feelings about it. The truth is, I can still be fit and active, and that shouldn’t take away from the number on the scale. And it will make that post-pregnancy weight come off quicker, I am sure. And what I definitely need to focus on is how exercise has numerous benefits to both mom and baby (easier delivery, baby can handle stress better while in labor, baby sleeps better after born, etc.). While how much weight I gain during pregnancy is somewhat up in the air, I can still control when and how often I exercise! And, as Dr. Clapp has pointed out my favorite book…

Combining training with pregnancy enhances the heart and blood volume to the point where a woman can actually experience an increase of 5-10% in her aerobic capacity; this “training effect of pregnancy” becomes more apparent 6-12 months after birth. While the speed, intensity, or distance might decrease as a woman advances in her pregnancy, the woman’s capacity to do more actually increases; stopping or reducing exercise during pregnancy will reduce the training benefits post-pregnancy.

And…

The woman who continues regular, sustained exercise until the onset of labor usually delivers five to seven days earlier than a woman with an active lifestyle who does not exercise regularly, and furthermore, those women who exercise for the duration of the pregnancy have leaner, lighter (but just as healthy) babies than those who either don’t exercise at all or who stop midway through the pregnancy.

So while I struggle, and probably will this entire pregnancy, I have to remind myself that there are other benefits to exercise than my usual “watching the scale drop”, which has done so well for me in the past. What are some other benefits to exercise, besides losing weight?

Part 2 – D-day (otherwise known as wedding day)

Saturday morning…

Up at 6 a.m. and waiting for the dentist’s office to open at 8:00. I talked with my in laws a bit about what to do if Dave couldn’t get in to see anyone this weekend. After calling right at 8:00 sharp and dealing with a snarky receptionist (at which point I almost lost it and pulled the crazy pregnant lady card), he was able to get in at 9:30 – and my in laws really helped out by taking him over there while I headed to the reception site to start setting up (it was a DIY wedding, so we had to set up – literally – everything, from tables and place settings to cake table, bar, ceremony decorations…you name it, we decorated it.)

Then, it started happening.

Everything that could have gone wrong, did. ALL of the flowers were wrong, and the bride was understandably upset. She and her mom got into it with the florist…quite comical if it wasn’t already a stressful day… and ended up going to a different florist to find an emergency bouquet. They forgot the kegs. About half an hour before the ceremony, someone realized that the laptop with the music for the ceremony and reception didn’t make it to the site, so someone had to make a last minute run to go retrieve it. I was running around trying to get from one side of town to the other and all the while, still unsure of what the heck was up with my husband and if he’d be there! CHAOS! Add to the fact that I hadn’t slept in 48 hours and I was soooo done.

He did – it turns out, he had an abscess in his tooth, and he got some great painkillers that actually worked. If there was one thing we did get from Urgent Care, it was the antibiotics that he had already started on the night before. Getting a text from him saying that he was feeling much better took a LOAD off my shoulders!

And so, we made it. They got married, we survived, I had my husband back, the baby is fine and dandy, and I still fit into my dress!

I can’t wait for the professional photos… I know Rachael did a great job with the wedding photos!

But you know what? Even though everything worked out in the end…. I NEVER want to do that again!!!

I never want to do that again!

This is going to be a super long story-telling post. I apologize in advance! But it does have a happy ending.

Part 1 - Friday

Where do I start? So I did both of my exercise classes last week (Treadmill Boot Camp and Pilates). I came home from pilates on Thursday night and my husband was complaining about his teeth hurting…he thought it was probably his sinuses, which happens every few weeks, so neither of us thought much of it. I had Friday off, to do the doctor’s appointment and wedding rehearsal, which was a blessing in disguise. Dave was up all night, literally, in pain from his teeth, so neither of us got any sleep. No matter, I have gone nights without sleeping, and it’s just preparing me for the future, right?

First, Baby Marathoner Stresses Mama Out

We went to the doctor Friday morning for my 13 week check up. We would hear Baby Marathoner’s heart for the first time, but I knew and almost suspected that we would not be able to hear it on the doppler, as I’d read that sometimes it’s still early to hear the heart at this stage. After waiting for almost an hour, my doctor came in and she whipped out the doppler…and sure enough, we couldn’t hear the heart beat. I wasn’t panicking since I prepared myself for it, and so my doctor went and brought in a portable ultrasound machine. I wasn’t going to protest because the last time we saw Baby Marathoner, it looked like a cheese curd and I knew it’d look like a baby at this point! The doctor got the picture up, and Baby Marathoner looked perfect and…well… like a baby. Except she couldn’t see the heart, and Baby Marathoner was not moving. She tried for a minute or two, and could not get a good look at the heart. THIS is when I started to panic….. and right then, Baby Marathoner started jumping around and doing somersaults and aerobics in my tummy. She got a quick peek at the heart (“a few flutters”) and said everything looked great, that babies don’t move that well if they don’t have a strong heart. WHEW!!! So, apparently my child is stubborn (like dad) or a drama queen (like mom), but either way, we got an unplanned ultrasound and got to spend a few minutes watching the kiddo jump around like a frog. It was SO cool. I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. :) I still smile every time I picture it in my head.

Which was good, because….

We went to the rehearsal as soon as we got out from the doctor (rehearsal was at 10:00 a.m because there was an event at the site that night, so we had to do it in the morning). Dave was getting worse and worse. We got through the rehearsal and went to the rehearsal lunch, which took awhile and Dave was obviously in a lot of pain – he couldn’t eat anything, so he didn’t even touch his food. We went home, my in-laws came back with us and got them settled. Dave and I tried to nap for a bit, but he got to the point where the pain was unbearable. Unsure of what exactly was going on, I suggested we go to Urgent Care and at least get some painkillers, because this was gonna be a LONG weekend if he didn’t. After some convincing (see, stubborn!), we headed over to Urgent Care, where we waited for almost an hour to get in, and then waited another 30 minutes for the doctor to come see us. I am so tired of waiting in doctor’s offices!! She came in, did a quick check and said, I don’t think it’s your sinuses, I think it’s your tooth. Which was also my guess because sinuses don’t make your teeth hurt so bad that you can’t even touch it. She said it might be an abscess, so she gave him a prescription of antibiotics, and a shot of a painkiller plus some pills to get us through the weekend before seeing a dentist on Monday.

We stood up… and Dave got white and woozy! So, we had to stay at Urgent Care for another half an hour so they could monitor him and make sure he was fine. He was, and we packed up and went to Walgreens to get his prescriptions filled. Which also took an hour because the doctor forgot to fax over the prescription. We got home after 3 hours, and my in laws were kind enough to wait for us to go to dinner, but Dave wasn’t in any shape to do that. So he slept, and we went to hibachi (LOVE LOVE LOVE!)

The painkillers did absolutely nothing. He was up again all night, and about 1:30 in the morning, we had to decide: go to the ER, so he could get better painkillers? Try to find an emergency dentist? Do nothing? We decided to call our dentist’s practice and see if anyone could do anything. Thankfully, they do have an on-call dentist, and the operator said he would call us as soon as she got a hold of him. Which apparently, being on call means you ignore your pages or something, because the clock kept ticking… and I didn’t know what to do. Neither of us have slept in two days, and we are tired, and stressed, and Dave’s obviously in a ton of pain. Finally after an hour, the dentist called back and told us “uh yeah, double up on your pain meds, and then 30 minutes later, take four Motrin.”

WT…F?

Seriously?

What part of “he got a 60mg shot of it, it didn’t do ANYTHING except make him nearly pass out, and you think taking 20mg of the same pain meds is going to do anything” did you not understand?

Ugh. So, he did…and it did nothing. Out of options at this point.

Enter my secret weapon.

Dave was beside himself, so around 3:30, I gave him one of my Ativan, because I knew part of the reason it was bothering him so much is because he was exhausted and concentrating on the pain. Anti-anxiety meds will get your mind off of whatever’s ailing you, and make you sleepy in the process (win-win for the both of us). I figure I can’t take them right now, so someone might as well put it to good use! He took it and within half an hour, was able to fall asleep. Which meant I was able to fall asleep for 2.5 hours until 6 a.m. the next morning, long enough to stop worrying about having a hurting husband, who is the Best Man in the wedding, and fulfilling my MOH duties the following day.

Tomorrow…. Part 2 - Saturday

Quick update – busy week!

It’s wedding week! And on top of a busy week already, things are just plain nuts around here. I was at work for nearly 12 hours on Tuesday, DH had a meeting Wednesday, and is helping another friend set up for another wedding at his home on Thursday. Friday, we have our doctor’s appointment, the rehearsal at 10:00, lunch at 12:30, and somehow I have to squeeze in 4 hours of working from home, finish cleaning my house since my in laws are staying with us, and help out with wedding prep!  And that’s all before the big day (and it ain’t even mine!) Phew!

It’s making for a quick week, though – which I like. I went to treadmill boot camp on Wednesday again, and it was much harder this time, but I also didn’t take it as easy as I did last week. We did a 5 minute tempo run warm up, six sprint intervals (where we had to progressively increase the speed), followed by  four hill intervals @ 2 minutes each. We then finished with three 30-second sprints (going ALL OUT – I ran a 9:40 sprint which is VERY fast for my stubby legs!), and a cool down with stretching. I was really pouring sweat at the end, but it was a great workout. I came home and cleaned for three hours….it was 90 degrees out today, and we don’t have an air conditioner. Let’s just say I was taking a lot of breaks. :)

Last week I also went to pilates and loved, loved, loved it. I was thrilled to find out my pilates instructor is 15 weeks pregnant! So she is just a bit further than me, and it’s so great that she knows all of the modifications I will have to do once my belly gets big. So I am going back today… I was so sore last week after finishing. I forgot how tough pilates is, but it feels great to be doing something and being active.

Weight is still around 137. And, my face is back to looking like I’m in middle school. Ahh, hormones. You suck!!

Hope everyone is doing well…I hope to have some photos from the wedding on Monday!

Treadmill boot camp/12 weeks(!!)

So when I signed back up at the YMCA on Tuesday, I made myself sign up for Wednesday’s Treadmill Training class. The description said it was a mix of incline and intervals that you do at your own pace, so I figured it wouldn’t be too hard (I thought it would be walking the whole time) and it sounded like fun. It’s a small class (max of five people), so I fought my new kid shyness tendencies and followed through on my commitment. The instructor, Shannon, is super nice and introduced herself. She asked if I was a runner and then said, oh, of COURSE you are, as I was wearing my Colfax Marathon tech shirt. I told her yep and that I was also about 12 weeks pregnant, so she said congrats and take it easy if I needed to.

THEN she said… Welcome to Treadmill Boot Camp, where we run the whole 45 minutes and throw in intervals, hills and crazy sprints in between. Um, what? I so thought this was going to be an easy class. I must be naive. I keep going to classes that I think are going to be “easy” and they most certainly are not.

We warmed up at what we consider a normal pace (I chose a 12 min/mile pace) for 10 minutes. I was so happy that I wasn’t gasping for air or breaking a sweat 10 minutes into it. I was worried that I’d be out of shape and just totally suck. Then we did our first set of sprints (30 seconds, 45 seconds, 1 minute, repeat) with a 30 second rest period in between. Then we did four hill intervals, and then finished out the session with six more 30 second sprints. The 45 minutes flew by… I was having so much fun! Shannon was checking in on me and complimenting me on how great it is that I’m running while pregnant. Girl told me she was 117 pounds when she delivered her girl, and 151 when she delivered her boy. I gave her this face:

Um yeah, my starting weight is 20 lbs more than your delivery weight! Not amused!

Just kidding. She was really awesome and supportive, and I loved, loved, loved the class. I felt so great when I finished, and proud of myself for going and for completing the class. I know I could have kicked it harder, but I just want to maintain a good fitness level. It’s hard not to be competitive..with myself and with the other class members. But it’s all right. I can’t wait for next week! Tomorrow is Mat Pilates and maybe a walk with the dog when I get home.

In even more astonishing news, I am 12 weeks today. Say what?!

I’d post a tummy picture, but there’s nothing to show yet. If I had a flat stomach before being pregnant, I’m sure it would be more noticeable. But I always had a “pooch” on my lower abdomen, before and after losing weight. It’s totally genetic; my mom has the same pooch in the same spot and as much weight as she has lost, she’s never been able to get rid of it. Nor have I. Thanks, genes!

Final weight gain for first trimester: 1 pound (current weight: 137 pounds)

Pretty stoked about that!

Not the status quo

I think I have always struggled with an “all or nothing” attitude – and I don’t think I’m alone here. Probably the majority of dieters struggle or fail at losing weight because of that mentality. And it’s hard not to have that mentality….. even though we know that slow and steady weight loss is the way to keep things off permanently, reality shows and get-thin-quick products, books, DVDs, diets, and so on convince us otherwise. That if it doesn’t happen right away, then it’s not going to happen and we might as well through in the towel. And boy, does this work in the other direction, too. That if you ate a piece of cake at the office, then you might as well throw in the towel and binge for lunch and dinner. And forget about that planned exercise!

So, I have been definitely fighting the all or nothing mentality since I first saw that positive pregnancy test. Only this time, it feels worse, because I find myself thinking a lot of the time “Why bother with exercise? I’m just going to gain weight and get fat anyway.” Or “It’s ok that I eat this; I’ve been feeling so crappy that I deserve it.  When you know that for the next six months, you’re going to get bigger and gain weight, it makes it very difficult to convince yourself that keeping fit is in your best interest. After all, what’s the point? There’s no physical reward (e.g., low number on the scale, fitting into those size 4 pants, etc.) to it.

I’m pretty sure this is how a lot of women end up gaining a lot of weight during pregnancy, especially ones that struggled with their weight to begin with.

And the fact that I have pretty much everyone in my life telling me they gained 80 pounds because they ate blue cheese dressing by the handful (true story), or that “the first trimester sickness is just the beginning…wait for the swollen ankles, the bloated tummy, the puffy face, being unable to sleep because you’re so large…” (I hear that on a daily basis). So you can see how it’s easy to just give up and “accept your fate,” it seems, right? It’s like everyone around you just tells you to forget about it, eat what you want, enjoy this time, and get ready for the pounds to pile on – it’s inevitable.

It’s easy to get there. Very easy. I’ve spent the past few days feeling sorry for myself because I can tell that my tummy is getting bigger, though I’m not sure if it’s just weight gain or actual pregnancy tummy. Either way, I’m at that point where I’m starting to look like I’m letting myself go, and not quite pregnant. Not a great place to be!

Well, by Sunday, I’d had enough of feeling sorry for myself, and strapped on my running shoes and went for a 2 mile run. It was great to get outside (albeit hot, windy, and smoky due to the Arizona fires), but during that time, I reminded myself that I don’t have to be the status quo. I don’t have to eat salad dressing by the handful, and I don’t have to give in to every craving. I don’t have to accept my fate of looking like a beached whale in my third trimester, and I certainly need the exercise and motivation. I also don’t have to give in to my fears of giving up my life and losing myself in mommyhood.

So, it’s back to basics and making a workout schedule and tracking my eating. And I made a deal with my hubby… he spends about $50 a month drinking beer after mountain biking every Wednesday, and I love that he does it because it’s a hobby and it’s with his friends, and he should do those things because it makes him happy. So mama? Mama is re-joining the gym and taking classes, getting access to a pool (and swimming which will be great once I do get a big tummy), and best of all…. having a place to drop off Baby Marathoner while I work out. :) While I probably will avoid the major butt-kicking Ultimate Conditioning class from hell that I took last summer, I am really looking forward to spin class, prenatal yoga, and getting my butt back into gear!

What day is it??

These holiday weeks always mess me up. Half the time I’m thinking it’s earlier in the week, and the other half of the time, I feel like a 4-day work week is just too tiring and the weekend needs to hurry up and get here.  I’m also having a hard time believing it’s June already, and I’m 11 weeks today. WHAT? This kid’s going to be here before I know it! Time’s a-flyin’!

I’ve been a bad blogger lately, but not for lack of trying. Each evening, I have the intention of sitting down and writing, but the evening seems to escape from me. Also, there’s not much really to report. Still randomly puking every now and then, but on the bright side, my face is clear and I’ve got my energy back. We’ve been taking walks almost every evening, and I’ve started walking to and from my building at work rather than being lazy and taking the bus every morning and afternoon. I even got out for a run on Wednesday, despite 87 degree temps. It’s hard to not be competitive with myself, and to slow down and remind myself that it’s not about going faster these days, it’s about staying in shape. On the weight front, I’m still hovering around 137 pounds, which means that if I stay this way for another week, I’ll have officially gotten through the first trimester with a 1 pound weight gain. I’m not sure if I should be proud of that, or a little weirded out by it. To be honest, when my weight first bolted up to 138-139 pounds when I first found out I was pregnant (probably due to bloat), my goal was to keep my weight gain to under 10 pounds. But then I was so sick for so many weeks that it didn’t seem to matter – I would eat anything and everything that didn’t make me sick… which was not a whole lot. It’s amazing how much food I ate because I was so hungry and yet so sick at the same time. If I’d been able to keep most of it down, I probably would have gained those 10 pounds!

Which means that now that my sickness is evening out, I have to be better about what I’m eating. Fortunately, food in general is starting to sound appetizing again. You guys would be ashamed if you knew what I ate some days during my sickest weeks…. lunches consisted of Gatorade, Cheetos, and fruit snacks some days, and even that didn’t stay down. Carbs were really the only things that seemed appealing. Protein, fruits and veggies? No thank you. Some days, I ate a bowl of spaghetti with butter and parmesan cheese for dinner. If I saw a bagel… look out. That bagel didn’t stand a chance. Man – I was not off to a good start!

But things are looking up. Now I eat fruit smoothies for breakfast, enjoy cottage cheese, turkey sandwiches or soup for lunch, and dinner each night for the past week or so has been a lean protein and veggies (thanks to the awesome summer weather for allowing us to grill for the past week!) At first, I had to remind myself that those junky carb-loaded snacks weren’t going to cut it anymore… hey, who doesn’t enjoy junk food? But that time is fading, and fading quickly, and I feel much more like my old self lately. And the extra energy is definitely a plus!

So May is done… onto June! Hopefully it’s going to be way less busy than May – no more bachelorette parties, bridal showers, birthdays, holidays.  We’re two weeks away from the wedding that DH and I are both in; I’m feeling pretty good about looking decent in my bridesmaid dress. Plus, did I mention the photographer is the same woman who did our Grand Lake photos last May? Love her and can’t wait to see her again!